Lots of people in downtown Toronto are jumping for joy with the very early spring/summer we are presently experiencing. I’m talking about temperatures in the 20 degree range day after day…in March. Personally, it makes me quite uneasy but, still, one is thrilled to see the spring flowers and best of all, to hear the robin’s song…not at the usual 4 a.m, rather more like 6. It is after all 6-7 weeks early and even the birds aren’t ready to leap unnecessarily into action early.
There is a big part of me, the part that comes with the uneasiness of the unseasonably warm temperatures, a part of me that cries for the lack of and loss of ice, my beloved ice. Its beauty has always inspired me with mysteries and magic and colours not seen quite anywhere else, in the same way.
Such awe and joy have never, in my life, been equaled although, being in the presence of the Northern Lights comes a very close second. I’m not sure what it is exactly, about ice that puts me into such a state of euphoria but, light is probably one of the principal components. The refraction gives the colours their special hues,and the light helps to shape the ice, transforming it. The ice will sing or cry out, whisper or explode during these periods of change making it seem so very alive.
Sometimes, there are windows, clear as clear can be, into its soul and sometimes….well… sometimes the blinds have been drawn allowing no secrets to escape.
I’m what I think of as an “Ice Being”. Most people do not know this about me but, I live my life thinking in terms of ice. If I see a certain colour of blue, I think what kind of ice that would be and where it would be found and when I had last seen an example. I buy clothes thinking of the colours of ice and I react to and purchase gemstones for the similarities they have to ice, the colours of aquamarine or those blue greys. I listen for and search out sounds that remind me of what the ice would be doing if it were making that kind of sound. Certain textures and temperatures, and the kind of sliding that would be possible, if only I was in an ice field. I relate in my heart to the animals of the ice in a way that makes me think I am one or have once been one…a polar bear, or a penguin. And then there is the spirit bear, a blue bear rarely seen that lives in the old growth forests of Haida Gwai and I imagine an aqua coloured bear who has left behind his life inside the ice but not let go of his sacred colour. Ah! so much magic.
Inside the Ice/oil on canvas with amethyst, lapis lazuli, clear quartz,smokey quartz, pyrite
The day in Antarctica when I saw this turquoise iceberg, I was beside myself. Never had I dreamt of such a wonder even existing, let alone in a world of only grey and white. It took my breath away and even now, thinking about that day, I almost lose myself in the remembered awe.
Floating Jewel, Weddell Sea, Antarctic/ oil on canvas
The magic of the ice world fills my being with joy and amazement but, when I see summer in winter months, with a snow-less winter, it is with a heavy heart that I greet the warmth, a heart filled with dread for the fate of my beloved world of ice.